It occurred to me today that, with a recent increase in views of my blog, new people are checking this website out, and there are probably a lot of questions. Like what is this website about, what the heck is a "secret DM", and why should anyone care?
The biggest question however is probably, "Does this blog have any useful content?"
I'm going to answer that last question today, before I really get into answering the other questions, because I'm going to provide you with a dungeon that's ready for use with room descriptions, you just have to plug in the monsters and figure out traps and stuff.
So it's like a half-ready dungeon. Like that 1st dungeon in the DM's guide of Mentzer Red Box.
This is the Negative Zone Fortress of Necromentor.
Who is "Necromentor"?
Necromentor is that skeletal figure featured at the top of this page, in the blog banner. Normally he's a withered, fragile, undead priest named Verminion, but when he activates his soul gem, he transforms in the nigh-invincible Necromentor, Master of Worlds, and Lord of the Tribunal of Doom!
I can't go into too many details for legal reasons, but once we finalize those issues in court, I'll be able to go into more detail about what all of that means. Very few people remember LotSotDM, so discussing it before we sign all the court papers would probably be okay, but just to be safe, I'll leave it to what I can share.
And that includes a gameable map of Necromentor's Lair, created by the very talented Billy Longino, who based the design on what myself and a few other people were able to recall from memory about the original play set. The entire lair exists inside of a "bloat-swine", one of the last surviving horrostrities unleashed upon the world of Axiom in the War of Creation and Chaos.
Maw of the Bloat-Swine Horrostrity (Entrance): Metal spikes jut up to a great height, forming a sheer cliff of metal spears, each coated in geodized pus that once spilled through the open wounds of the bloatswine's pierced jaw. That jaw has hardened and, left trapped and hanging open in the harsh winds of dust that spill out of the nearby Vortex of Chaos, been coated in a layer of rough stone. The beast's whole head is pulled back, but massive stalagmites and stalactites bare like hungry teeth, waiting to snap down on anyone who would dare dream to trespass here.
It's safe to enter here, at least in terms of getting eaten; there is no hope of release from this awful trap the bloatswine has been caught in, its limbs firmly entrenched in equal amounts of stone that have spewed this way for 1,000 years.
Murder Tunnel of the Agonizing Esophagus (Main Hallway): Here the stone-encrusted entrance gives way to the first hint that the bloatswine may still live beneath the massive trap it has been caught in for millennium; a baleful cry makes the walls vibrate, and the spongy floor buckles and throbs as people walk over it. Massive tentacle-cilia concealed in vertical recesses that run along each side strike out to grapple any intruders, mistaken by the dumb intelligence of the throat's survival instincts as something trapped that needs to be crushed and swallowed.
Orphan Heart Throne Room (Throne Room): One of the bloatswine's numerous detached, floating hearts is pinned here in a rusted cage that cuts and slices at the still-beating muscle whenever Necromentor moves on the seat he fashioned for himself out of the cage. He claims the slow beating calms him as he worries over the actions of Axiom's worthless heroes.
Note that the other floating hearts may still be somewhere in the dungeon, or possibly have all left and now float aimlessly in the world of Axiom.
Or have been destroyed.
Vertebratorvator (Access Elevator to higher and lower levels): this platform moves up and down along a bony spinal column, constructed over the Wasting river that boils and swishes underneath, it's disgusting purple, green and yellow glow only outdone in cringe-worthiness by the awful stench that billows upward.
Devolvotron Chamber (Laboratory): Here local flora and fauna are mutated and experimented on to make twisted versions to assault the heroes that seek to thwart Necromentor's diabolical plans.
Megahexorator (Summoning Platform): as the Master of Worlds, Necromentor has a near infinite supply of monsters and Villains he can pull from other dimensions and planets, bringing them here for the ultimate battles against the heroes of Axiom!
The Occularium of Bending Dreams (Viewing Platform of the Megahexorator): The crystalline brain chamber where creative thoughts, once used to build worlds, are now forced to imagine and perceive alien dimensions, which Necromentor channels into his Megahexorator to pull dangerous and powerful allies in his quest to destroy the heroes and claim dominion over all of Axiom!
Putrescanence, the Wasting River (Natural/Organic Cave System): This "river" of acidic slime boils, swishes, and runs through a vast, heated, and splayed open organic cavern system that leads to a rarely-used (and forgotten) rear entryway into Necromentor's Lair.
Necromentor's Inner Sanctum (Treasure Room): Necromentor is a powerful and formidable foe who has lived for thousands of years in his endless quest to conquer and rule Axiom. However, even he is not beyond exhaustion, and so he must retire to his inner sanctum to restore his energy.
It is here that Necromentor releases the soul gem that gives him his powers and reverts back to his weak and feeble form, that of the undead priest Verminion.